Wednesday, November 16, 2005
perhaps it is misconception. perhaps, it just wasnt so obvious.wait.stop. everything has to have an ending. i have to put an end to this. it cant bring me far. it certainly wont do me any good. but to my chagrin, everytime when it starts to come, supporting me, being my pillar of strength, it always fades away the next day.....help. they are so many things bottling inside me. Everything has its reasons. Should i go knocking my head on the wall to wake myself up or should i just stay where i am, stuck at the beginning? aren't i giving up on myself? i hate too and i don't wish to. there are just so many unaccomplished things. something which held me back. *if only i cold quell my fears*or rather, i MUST quell my fears. why must i build this invisible barrier in front of me? why must i segregate myself from the world i belong in? why? so many restrictions, endless rules and reasons. Can't i just be what i am, what i am used to be, what i am?Is this a prank of merely an obstacle in life? i seemed to be asleep for a very long time. time to wake up? time to face the reality? or.... remain where i am?but i can't afford to and i don't wish to.*please, someone pull me out of this world and bring me back to where i belong to.*it can't be anyone else. it is only.... me. nobody can help me if i can't help myself. i can't be sceptical. determination seems to have taken its leave. its time for me to get it back, fighting with inexhaustible energy to get back what i used to be, please.Let me see a glimmer of hope, let me be what i truly am. Though im afraid to face this battle alone. i hope everything would be just fine. If there is just this trust in you. i hope. please....
-drowning in an abyss of ignorance.
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