Sunday, November 13, 2005
constructive? or detrimental?perhaps. its detrimental. i used to be reflecting upon every comment made across and think that others is always right. since when i am thinking logically anyway? but all of sudden, i seem to be dreading and sulking. Wats happening to me? perhaps something changed my life irrevocably. perhaps its just me, the other side of me seems so overpowering..... i feel so lifeless. adapting? or trying to adapt?seems rather unnatural. perhaps i don't belong in their world after all. I have the propensity of keeping myself occupied every minute. after all, the brain juice that i have squeezed and forced out of my brain isnt going to go down the drain. However, i seem to be eating my own words.Everything just seems to be sliding down a slope. Beyond redemption? i have no idea. i really dont know. everything seems to be slipping. Im not in the correct state of mind. though not so mentally exhausted. but i really have a paraxysm of rage in me. of was it those that i have been bottling up and its slowly opening its cap, letting it all out bit by bit?But i just felt remorseful. or rather, i should be jubilant with joy? letting it all go seems such a heart aching scene. But it also marks the begining to a new start.so what is it that i cant let go?*BUT u don't have to fit in*so contradicting. what on earth is running through my mind? i hardly have the time to think right through. Perhaps time is just slipping off my mind. Seconds, minutes, hours just passes by in a twinkling of an eye. Trying to salvage it?*seems too late*Please, let me quell all my fears. I really don't know what's right to do.Just don't let it slip out of my hand, never....
-drowning in an abyss of ignorance.
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