Saturday, September 10, 2005
Was that the response i expected or was that the obvious? Was it just so hard to express it? Though i really had it. But i would rather hide it inside. Nobody appreciates anyway, nobody even tried. I have received comments, though some were not really honest. but who cares? the player doesnt even care, why should the listeners? as if everything was just a fairytale... as if everything was perfect... as if i wanted the desired attention from onlookers....If i cant, i shan't. why should i? Make myself proud? for the sake of reputation? for the sake of what? applying what you have learnt? OR. Going through the retrspective memories whenever it takes you too? Or sensing the surrounding so quiet, so peaceful, only you and the music, enjoying, playing, listening, rapt, and nothing else could bother you?Does it matter more? i don't want to be pretentious. WHat am i trying to show? empathy? or sympathy?Perhpas you were right. Even for the sake of the tv, he woujld rather ask u to stop. Wasnt that soothing to the ear eh?Even though i have the passion, the determination and the devotion, it's pointless to be honest. POINTLESS. since when i've ever had both? Somethings just seemed amiss, just absent in my life, sucking out a lifeless body, leaving only the shell.... Drained out of my strength, i really have nothing left. It's all gone or should i say nothing seemed to be mine in the first place? "What if-s run thru my mind.. what if god was never kind? what if im just a bird that has never learnt how to fly?"everything seemed so ostensible, to me, perhaps. Speechless? or should i go reflect? prone to influence? or being open minded?Why are things always so complicated?*only you thought it was*i would serioiusly rather drown in an abyss of ignorance.
-drowning in an abyss of ignorance.
="true">
